Today I ran a mile and a half for like the fourth day in a row....yes, i know, slightly underwhelming, not exactly your half marathon...

But for me its been kinda epic cause less than a year ago I couldn't walk more than a block without passing out. I slept 18 hours a day and then was an insomniac at night. I couldn't form sentences or remember basic facts or process conversations while I was having them. I had a constant headache. My heart beat was erratic. I had joint pain and nausea and constant body aches. Sound and light was my enemy. Emotions were non existent. 

Before I got sick I was a runner. It's something that makes me feel strong and accomplished (probably cause my legs are like a foot and a half long, so to run any distance is an achievement). It's the biggest release, the best routine, so to be able to run again, even starting from the ground up at a measly mile and a half, is huge. Its an accomplishment and action in a lifestyle of chronic illness which equates to caution and rest and calculated movements. It's hugely IMPORTANT. It's a BIG DEAL. 

I'm not a generally optimistic person. I don't go through life with a rose colored tint. If anything I'm a cynic, a realist. I read the worst into people and situations. I expect the worst. And I don't easily give into the ideal of hope. Throughout my health journey, Brett (bless his beautiful soul and adorable face) has been the one to never give up the belief that I'll get better, the one who continues to have faith in doctors, the one who sees my progress towards being healthy and rejoices in it. My reaction is usually, "today might be good, BUT we'll see how I feel tomorrow" or "who the heck is that freak doctor that we just let treat me" or "screw it, i give up."  (ask me where I'd be without him....probably rolled up in a ball in my week old clothes reading my kindle, watching netflix, and giving up on life and health...but seriously) 

All this to say, its important for me to consciously acknowledge this milestone in my journey to health. It's important for the cynic in me to step aside for a minute and rejoice in the healing God has been doing and to bask in this small victory, to let myself just be joyful. To appreciate and be thankful. To not look at how far I have to go until I'm totally healthy but to sit and worship the One who's brought this progress. Its all a part of the journey. 

much love.
-morgan